Mojca Zirovnik

How to Maintain Mental Comfort in High-Stake Business Situations

If you are mentally fit it means you can easily manage a myriad of different mental states. An absolute prerequisite for your even greater charisma. On Friday you specifically told your assistant not to be late for the 9 am Monday meeting. It’s Monday. You’re already two minutes late. On Friday you instructed the same assistant to always check presentation slides for flaws: “We can’t afford bad grammar, incorrect data or a wrongly spelt client’s name.” You’ve just started your presentation to see that you’ve misspelt a name. Your own. On Friday you had your motivational speech for your team and said there is no such thing as a “Monday you could do without”. It’s simply an attitude about it. It’s Monday today. And you could definitely do without. If the story above sounds familiar, you’re not a bad leader, but simply one of us. A normal human being, who makes mistakes. It’s also true that you probably think that such hiccups mustn’t happen. At least not to you. And when they do you attribute them to your own inabilities. What we need to do is realize that there is no such thing in this world as “perfection”, because also “perfect” can always be better. Above all we need to learn what attitude to take when we make a mistake. You have two options: Why is this happening to me? What can I learn from this experience? Once you manage to take the second option this means you are exercising self-compassion over yourself. Self-compassion is a key element in maintaining mental comfort and overall well being. Self-compassion is extremely important in managing states of anxiety, self-doubt, uncertainty and self-criticism. As much as 70% of people experience some sort of self-doubt. Plus, the more of a high-performer you are, the more likely you are to experience various negative states, e. g. self-doubt. The responsibility and the risks involved, namely, are higher. Self-compassion simply means be kind and show understanding for yourself when something unwanted happens. After you’ve learned to exercise self-compassion you become more emotionally resilient, have fewer negative reactions to daily challenges. You also become more self-confident, find it easy to improve relationships with people around you, develop an overall positive attitude. You become happy (-ier). Self-compassion can be learned. The same as charisma. It’s not a skill or attitude we’re born with. You can learn to be self-compassionate by using a very simple technique: 1. Make sure you’re comfortable. Sitting or lying down, eyes closed. Inhale and exhale slowly. While you exhale imagine a strong wind blowing away all your concerns. 2. Go back in time and think of a something good you did for someone. A situation where both of you felt grateful. Concentrate on it for a moment using all your senses. 3. Open your eyes (and move around). Go back and think of someone important in your life. Perhaps someone you look up to. If this is too awkward it can also be a person known (only to you) for their beneficiary work (e. g. Gandhi, Mandela …) 4. Imagine person from Step Three entering your mind. Feel their warmth toward you, see their face and hear their voice when conveying kindness and compassion for you. You are completely forgiven. 5. Now feel this person accepting you the way you are, right here, right now. Because at this very stage of your life you are perfect just the way you are. 6. After you’ve done the exercise, you’ll probably feel a sense of relief, first physical and later also emotional. You can experience different feelings and this is a proof it’s working. In addition you can start your own “Book of Inspirations”, where you put down compliments, positive remarks etc you receive from people or simply enter good deeds you do. Take a peek every-time you feel “you’re not up to your standards”.

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You Wish You Had It Now – But Definitely Before Your Next Speaking Opportunity

Uncategorized / Mojca Zirovnik

It’s so stunningly simple that I couldn’t believe it myself. And I have years of training and coaching experience in the corporate world. Before coming across this hopelessly easy approach I thought it took much more. Time, effort, energy. You need it, because you, working in a highly competitive branch, can’t afford to waste the opportunity you have. You simply can’t. It’s all about Presence. People who transmit presence are confident, comfortable in their shoes in any situation and passionate about who they are and what they do. What’s the most interesting is that Presence is transmitted primarily through body language: vocal qualities, gestures, facial expressions, body posture, and so on. So, how do you convey more Presence? The answer is – Power Pose. Amy Cuddy in her best-selling book Presence clearly shows and proves that Power Posing builds your presence in difficult situations such as presenting, negotiating, giving feedback. Also in annual appraisal interviews, job interviews or you-could-do-without meetings with your boss. Says Cuddy: “Power Posing helps you optimize your brain to be 100 percent present before you start. It’s a kind of a warm-up activity.” You can do it physically or mentally. Mental Power Posing will have the same effects as physical Power Posing. What’s important is to power pose BEFORE a situation and maintain an open, but still strong and upright posture DURING a situation. How to Power Pose: Pose as a Wonder Woman or adopt Leonardo DiCaprio’s pose of “I’m the King of the World” from Titanic or any similar character or pose real or fictional you associate with presence; the character must have a powerful and expansive pose; If you can’t pose expand your body as much as you can, e. g. wrap the back of the chair with your arms and clasp your hands together; Arrive before others and make yourself comfortable in your chair; adopt “At Attention” position (chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in) or sit expansively (use the leg-four pose and clasp your arms behind your head). For women this might be a bit awkward so rather sit upright, feet firmly on the floor, one arm resting on the chair arm and the other one on the top rail of the chair next. And don’t forget to keep your chin up. When waiting to be called the worst thing you can do is hunch over your phone. It’ll do exactly the opposite of what you want to transmit. Also, don’t slouch in your chair and don’t keep your arms in your lap. If possible walk (from time to time), but don’t pace. Good body posture is essential for your Presence. This is what you can do throughout the day: Place your mouse further away from your body and you’ll be forced to expand; Use headsets and stretch while on the phone (instead of pulling your arms in when holding the phone against your ear); Hang a picture you like and it’ll invite you to look at it and stretch up; Stretch before you get up in the morning and before you fall asleep; Put (one of) your hands on your hips (e. g. when stirring the casserole, when looking out from the window, when brushing your teeth …); If your job requires sitting most of the time, stand up and walk around; Lift your arms in a V shape above your head (similar as athletes when they win); Also, doing sports, where you are required to expand your body makes miracles. Consider yoga or swimming for instance. One more thing. NUDGE yourself gently and persistently to keep doing so. The effects are incredible.

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