Mojca Zirovnik

Who do you find charismatic? I’m pretty sure we have different views about people, who have certain flair around them and make us notice them more than others. And the fact still remains that all charismatic people share at least this quality: above average communication skills with focus on affecting people, who surround them. It may be that charisma is something you do have or not and at the same time it can be acquired. You can learn how to become more charismatic (persuasive) by improving you speaking skills. Let’s have a look at a few very elementary, yet extremely powerful tips: 1. Talking or Listening, Listening or Hearing? Generally speaking people are poor listeners. We all prefer talking, especially about ourselves. Be it our personal experience or about something where we belong, e. g. the company where we work. Listening is far more powerful, especially when people around you actually feel heard and acknowledged. When you make them feel special.  2. Respect the (awkward) moment of silence It’s a turning point in a conversation. They asked a powerful question, perhaps disagreed, perhaps they snapped at you. What you do is – keep silent. For no more than three seconds, which seem to them an eternity. And to you. But you know these three seconds make a difference. Powerful difference. And you embrace the silence because it gives you the advantage you need. Only then you answer. Preferably in a very composed and assertive way, slightly lowering your voice and reducing the speed of your talk. 3. Don’t overuse the first person singular (I) or plural (We) Speaking like this is a kind of a by-prouct of modern life, especially in the western culture, where people think that themselves as individuals are more important than the group. In the corporate world you can see that in meetings, where people start introducing themselves instead of using a very simple formula (TOPIC-IMPORTANCE-SPEAKER). The same thing goes for presentations, where the same mistake occurs. Or in proposals, where companies very often start by presenting their way of working, best achievements and references. You only become charismatic if you put THEM before YOU. 4. Imagine you’re talking to ten-year olds Instead of speaking in big and loose ideas, be specific and down to earth. In other words drop the “corporate talk” of touching base offline, having people in one’s radar, replacing problems with challenges etc. Now, that’s one thing. The other one refers to sounding meaningful and understandable to people, who do not work in finances (such as yourself). Explain in a way everybody knows what you’re talking about without making them lose their face, e. g.. Do you understand that? 5. Use humor The ability to add humor is among top ten traits of excellent leaders. If you time it right – bingo. You will sound like one of them. A normal person, made of flesh and blood, especially if you are in a leadership position. 6. Learn how to talk about changes First of all embrace changes. Secondly talk about them. Don’t avoid the subject, but rather address it openly. Tell them how you feel about it.  Include pros and cons, like this you’ll sound more believable and will communicate common sense. In other words you’ll greatly increase your ethos. Also, when you talk about changes be realistic and avoid cliches of “changes being the only road to becoming more competitive”. 7. Be careful about your non-verbal talk and about your voice Charismatic people are congruent with what they say, how they say it and how they express it with their body. Can you train your voice and your body-talk? By all means. Keep in mind that the more stressful the situation, the more difficult will be paying attention to how you look. — The bottom line is that although you might not be perceived as charismatic YET you can learn how to and become charismatic NOW.