If you are mentally fit it means you can easily manage a myriad of different mental states. An absolute prerequisite for your even greater charisma. On Friday you specifically told your assistant not to be late for the 9 am Monday meeting. It’s Monday. You’re already two minutes late. On Friday you instructed the same assistant to always check presentation slides for flaws: “We can’t afford bad grammar, incorrect data or a wrongly spelt client’s name.” You’ve just started your presentation to see that you’ve misspelt a name. Your own. On Friday you had your motivational speech for your team and said there is no such thing as a “Monday you could do without”. It’s simply an attitude about it. It’s Monday today. And you could definitely do without. If the story above sounds familiar, you’re not a bad leader, but simply one of us. A normal human being, who makes mistakes. It’s also true that you probably think that such hiccups mustn’t happen. At least not to you. And when they do you attribute them to your own inabilities. What we need to do is realize that there is no such thing in this world as “perfection”, because also “perfect” can always be better. Above all we need to learn what attitude to take when we make a mistake. You have two options: Why is this happening to me? What can I learn from this experience? Once you manage to take the second option this means you are exercising self-compassion over yourself. Self-compassion is a key element in maintaining mental comfort and overall well being. Self-compassion is extremely important in managing states of anxiety, self-doubt, uncertainty and self-criticism. As much as 70% of people experience some sort of self-doubt. Plus, the more of a high-performer you are, the more likely you are to experience various negative states, e. g. self-doubt. The responsibility and the risks involved, namely, are higher. Self-compassion simply means be kind and show understanding for yourself when something unwanted happens. After you’ve learned to exercise self-compassion you become more emotionally resilient, have fewer negative reactions to daily challenges. You also become more self-confident, find it easy to improve relationships with people around you, develop an overall positive attitude. You become happy (-ier). Self-compassion can be learned. The same as charisma. It’s not a skill or attitude we’re born with. You can learn to be self-compassionate by using a very simple technique: 1. Make sure you’re comfortable. Sitting or lying down, eyes closed. Inhale and exhale slowly. While you exhale imagine a strong wind blowing away all your concerns. 2. Go back in time and think of a something good you did for someone. A situation where both of you felt grateful. Concentrate on it for a moment using all your senses. 3. Open your eyes (and move around). Go back and think of someone important in your life. Perhaps someone you look up to. If this is too awkward it can also be a person known (only to you) for their beneficiary work (e. g. Gandhi, Mandela …) 4. Imagine person from Step Three entering your mind. Feel their warmth toward you, see their face and hear their voice when conveying kindness and compassion for you. You are completely forgiven. 5. Now feel this person accepting you the way you are, right here, right now. Because at this very stage of your life you are perfect just the way you are. 6. After you’ve done the exercise, you’ll probably feel a sense of relief, first physical and later also emotional. You can experience different feelings and this is a proof it’s working. In addition you can start your own “Book of Inspirations”, where you put down compliments, positive remarks etc you receive from people or simply enter good deeds you do. Take a peek every-time you feel “you’re not up to your standards”.